Jim Perrin writes to our sister

Firstly, there are notes of explanation:

Our sister Jac had been taken by her daughter to Yorkshire after the calamitous period prior to and following the Christmas of 2004; ref. our recent posts. She was utterly worn down: her chemotherapy had so depleted her reserves and weakened her that this period of calm and peace with a loved sister was to be the perfect interlude for her. She was not allowed however to enjoy it for long without being reminded of Jim Perrin’s ‘love and support’ for her. These excerpts are from just some of the many letters which he wrote to her during those three weeks when she had chosen to go and stay with her ‘Yorkshire’ sister: when he knew how desperately ill she was and how she longed for quietude…

We cannot sufficiently emphasise that Jac’s sons are lovely, normal, happy, out-going young men, occupied then as now with their lives and careers. The content of these letters has no foundation in reality and we feel that Jim Perrin would have done well to stay in his study in the caravan and write his books and travel articles, instead of spending his time haranguing our poor sister so mercilessly with this questionable onslaught.

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The main part of one letter reads:

‘No point in recrimination — but some point maybe in examination and explanation. Clearly I should not have moved in to [your house]. Even if nothing else does, the visceral and instinctive reluctance I feel at putting Will’s ashes into this earth tells me that. From the minute I came here you began to withdraw, and a different pattern started to assert itself between us.’

‘I usurped the monopoly of affection and attention, sexuality [!] and shared activity formerly held by your sons. If only 50% of the perceived affronts I could list were actual rather than imagined (and obviously, the more set the pattern the higher the degree of perception modified by expectation) that’s still an awful lot of difficult — at times very difficult — and bolshie behaviour.’

‘If you could just acknowledge for once that all this has been happening, instead of denying and standing on your pride and maternal allegiance things between us would be so much easier. As it is, by denying, you impute falsehood to me — and exacerbate things. I am utterly tired of all this Jac.’

His reference to his son’s ashes is a calculated meanness, and he is virtually bludgeoning her with his words…

Jac’s sisters.

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