Monthly Archives: December 2010

Jim Perrin writes to Jac again

Letter 2:

‘How to get out of this cycle of stress and recrimination?’ ∼ ‘We clearly have difficulties with each other and maybe we cannot resolve them.’ ∼ ‘I think we were in enough difficulty before Will’s death.’ ∼ ‘All the unresolved tensions have built up and collapsed on top of us.’ ∼ ‘This is necessarily from my side — it’s my view of things; my problems, and I am writing this down — as maybe I should have done months and months ago.’ ∼ ‘It was much more difficult.’ ∼ ‘When I moved in here I was shocked as well by the general chaos, self-centredness, destructiveness, that went on.’

‘I remember little incidents that could stand for many — and that is a recurrent theme in all of this.’ ∼ ‘Nobody else did very much at all to help in the everyday running of the house.’ ∼ ‘You were critical of me having that confab (with the boys) — you did not like it being done and accused me outright of hypocrisy.’ ∼ ‘I could go off at a tangent here — on the generally unhelpful outside intervention there has been in this situation, but to keep to the point, within the first month(s) of my being here, substantial problems had arisen between us which have been working through for over a year now, exacerbated by [her son’s name].’ ∼ ‘It has led to my becoming more and more angry and hence, unreasonable and hence, extreme in my vocabulary.’ ∼ ‘I see yet another instance of something serious going unaddressed, of evasion — and I rage against it. It’s a horrible mess Jac.’ Continue reading

Jim Perrin writes to our sister

Firstly, there are notes of explanation:

Our sister Jac had been taken by her daughter to Yorkshire after the calamitous period prior to and following the Christmas of 2004; ref. our recent posts. She was utterly worn down: her chemotherapy had so depleted her reserves and weakened her that this period of calm and peace with a loved sister was to be the perfect interlude for her. She was not allowed however to enjoy it for long without being reminded of Jim Perrin’s ‘love and support’ for her. These excerpts are from just some of the many letters which he wrote to her during those three weeks when she had chosen to go and stay with her ‘Yorkshire’ sister: when he knew how desperately ill she was and how she longed for quietude…

We cannot sufficiently emphasise that Jac’s sons are lovely, normal, happy, out-going young men, occupied then as now with their lives and careers. The content of these letters has no foundation in reality and we feel that Jim Perrin would have done well to stay in his study in the caravan and write his books and travel articles, instead of spending his time haranguing our poor sister so mercilessly with this questionable onslaught. Continue reading

Jim Perrin sabotaged Jac’s temporary escape

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After her penultimate course of chemotherapy Jac was taken by her daughter to stay with her ‘Yorkshire’ sister, as they had arranged between them just after their sad Christmas. That had been a most traumatic time and Jim Perrin’s anger still had not subsided; Jac was relieved, and very happy to be able to go away and to escape the controlling behaviour with which she was beset .

He wrote in his book, West — ‘In January Jac went for three weeks to Yorkshire, staying with a sister whilst she tried different treatments.’ (ref. page 263).

The reason that she went to Yorkshire was to spend time away from Jim Perrin. She even considered staying there for her final session of chemotherapy. She was stressed and unhappy in her own home, so much so that even at that extreme point in her illness she chose to go away to the peace of her sister’s house. Continue reading