We wrote in a recent post that ‘something has been perplexing us’ and ever since our sister died we have had a vague and unsettling sense of uncertainty about the events of that day. However, a thought, only recently occurring to us and filtered — as it were — through the memories and the ‘re-living’ of that time, has enabled us at last to identify the cause of our long unease.
In earlier postings on the subject we have at least taken Jim Perrin’s word that he was with Jac on the day of Tuesday, May 10th, which, as time drew on, was to be the last evening of her life: although, it is understandable, we blamed him for leaving her so early — as we thought then that he had done.
We never discussed it with him; the details which he later described in West we knew to be untrue — but we had not, before, even questioned whether he had been with Jac at all, that day.
There are several anomalies — of which the following is only one: clearly Jim Perrin realised at that time how seriously ill Jac was — he wrote of it in his book, albeit entirely untruthfully — yet, deliberately, he gave her sisters (who lived hundreds of miles away) no hint of impending urgency. To our ears there is something which does not chime true.
Should we have believed that he was even there — given everything else about which we now know he has lied? Why was he unobtainable at that critical time on Wednesday, May 11th? Why was he so late when he did, finally, arrive at the hospital, many hours after it had been possible to contact him? — and that had been late enough as he had switched off his phone and there was no ‘leave a message’ facility.
Surely he should not have left our sister at all if, as he later acknowledged in his writing, he knew how gravely ill she had become? And why did he tell such lies about that entire period in his books, articles and interviews?
He wrote that he was with her ‘on her last night’ — ‘[he] held her’ — ‘as she slipped into sleep, and beyond that, deep unconsciousness. Next day, peacefully, she died.’
But Jim Perrin was not there with her and the passage was not, as he so lyingly wrote, a faithful, first-hand account of the ‘last night’ of Jac’s life: ‘as she sank into her last sleep her vital signs were fading away — next morning at about eleven a last gentle exhalation and she was gone.’
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Jim Perrin has lied shamelessly about our sister ever since her death. This lie is all the more vile, and particularly shaming, in that he wrote of a most sacred moment as if he were there and gave the impression that he was supporting and gentling our dying sister throughout; when the truth was — to the contrary — that he had left her, quite alone.
By his deceitful description he led the world to believe that he was with Jac until she died and of course, with those words, he put ‘on record’ that only he was with her: thus, evidently, he was still exerting his ‘control’ over her, with cynical opportunism and his readiness to lie outright — even to the last breath of her life…
And when it was Jac’s time to die she was breathing so silently, so imperceptibly, that those who were with her could not at first say with certainty ‘she has gone’; there were no apparent signs — no ‘last gentle exhalation’ — but, with her beloved daughter and one of her sisters close by her side, it was some moments before the realization grew that Jac’s spirit had left; as nearly as could be told — within five minutes between ten past and a quarter past midday: not ‘at about eleven’.
And, afterwards, he wrote (again implying that he was the only person with our sister) ‘people soon began to fill the room’. Of all the family and friends whom it had been possible to contact there were ten of us who were with our sister. Jim Perrin was not present — he was the last to arrive, and it was many hours later, long after Jac had died, that he did so.
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And this is our ‘thought’: as his descriptions of Jac’s dying hours and of her death are proved to be misleading, disingenuous and absolute lies we are now — and only now — asking ourselves if Jim Perrin was there at all on Tuesday, the day before she died, or did we give him too much credit by assuming that he was?
As we now know his record of falsifying his time-lines, was his blatantly dishonest version of our sister’s death (‘blatant’ as he was aware that her family knew the truth) written because he was not even there with her earlier in the day, but could not of course, admit to it?
In our next postings we will explain the reasons for our grave doubts.