When Jim Perrin wrote to our sister shortly after May 1st 2003, it was to express his view that their relationship should be placed on a more public footing.
We have acknowledged elsewhere in our blog that our sister became very much ‘ in love’ with him and was, certainly for a time, besotted and could not see clearly.
Others in North Wales who knew him, and of his reputation, had warned her of his potential for violence – even telling her that he had viciously attacked a former wife. We know it was not gossip or a slur, but the simple truth, and he admitted it to Jac in the presence of two of her sisters when asked about it a year and a half later. Nor, we have been told since our sister died, was that the only woman whom Jim Perrin had assaulted – it is a coward’s way to attack a woman. ONCE would have been a heinous crime, but there have been several attacks throughout his ‘career’; both physical injuries and extreme psychological damage have been meted out to those over whom he had control: a denial would be futile.
Yet at the time our sister could not accept what she had been told about him. He spoke gently to her and convincingly and explained that there had been ‘extenuating circumstances’ – it really had not been as his detractors had described, and she felt there seemed to be no harm in him: this man whom, within eighteen months, she witnessed assaulting one of her own sons, ref: our blog Jim Perrin’s Breaking Point.
But she, living in the present, and beguiled, could not have foreseen it and after the winter – fierce in North Wales – in the lovely rising time of the year, Jac, by now believing all that Jim Perrin told her, consented to a secret ‘Beltane’ ceremony.
When at first our sister told us of her love for him we, knowing as little about him then as she did herself, were happy for her in her happiness.
All too soon however, she began to realise that things were not as they had at first seemed, but, to a degree, she had committed herself emotionally and she banished her misgivings.
Jim Perrin then wrote to her – after that ‘ceremony’ – she living in her own home, (never with him at his house, ref: our previous blog):
‘Let’s exchange rings and have an official wedding feast – – -‘
In other words he wished to make PUBLIC the secret ‘ceremony’ to which she had agreed, and to make PUBLIC his claims on her as his ‘wife’.
This she refused, EMPHATICALLY, to do, and it is revealing that in another letter to her, four months before she died (after he had asked her to marry him – legally – many times since that ‘ceremony’) he wrote:
‘You were showing an absolute refusal to relate – – – things were clearly not going too well between us. On the topic of marriage you consistently slipped the point – – -’
Back in 2003 Jac had in fact said to him ‘love cannot be willed into being’ which comment he referred to in the earlier letter and in that same letter he wrote of his plan – already formulated – to sell (after less than eight months) his house in Llanrhaeadr:
‘Let’s sell this house, equip your workshop, pay off our [!] debts, put the rest in your [!] Building Society along with money from my books and from my endowment policy when it matures and that can be for our season in the sun; let me rent [!] somewhere nearer to you – – -‘
So plausible, so disingenuous, and given what we have learned about Jim Perrin’s ACTUAL finances as well as his personal obligations at that time, we believe – utterly dishonest.
Yet to our sister, unknowing as she then was – loving and trusting – this might have seemed a wonderful prospect. It was certainly cleverly contrived to entice, and our sister believed him.
There was, however, an obstacle to Jim Perrin’s plan…