Jim Perrin had planned to take over our sister’s house: within months of their meeting he persuaded her that he should live with her – coerced is certainly not too strong when one considers his letter of August 18th 2003, ref: our blog ‘Jim Perrin – A Cuckoo in the Nest?, – and whilst we know that in the first months she was very much under his influence yet the pressure he exerted was not only intense but dishonourable. She was given little time to think before he put his plan into action; he knew that she was still sharing the house with her long-term partner……
After paying off his mortgage and overdrafts, credit cards and loan companies, to live in her house would be the solution to many of his difficulties.
He had pressed her, very hard, to marry him (legally) – this, we thought at the time, was because he felt he would then have entitlement to her property. Jac used to tell her ‘Welsh’ sister of his latest attempts: how he repeatedly asked her to marry him saying that he would not believe she loved him if she refused and that his happiness would only be complete if she consented. But she did not want to marry him, agreeing with her sister’s sentiment, so frequently expressed during their night-time conversations that it had become an on-going joke between them, which was that in this relationship ‘a ring on your finger would be a ring through your nose!’ Instinctively Jac knew this – which is why she refused to countenance the possibility and, so consistently, refused him.
One of his ploys – a strangely sad coincidence in view of her later, but too early, death, was to say that if anything should happen to her (Jac, apparently, being in perfect health at the time) ‘were they not married he would have no security, no “rights’’, and could be homeless’, and, when she told her sister, they discussed the future position of her children – ‘should it happen’.
After considering most seriously all that Jim Perrin had said – and, indeed, his behaviour – and thinking of her children first, she decided that not only were they to be given priority but that, in any event, she had never even wanted to be married to him, and at the end of the conversations Jac would say ‘I know, I KNOW……a ring on my finger would be a ring through my nose’; it is sad to think of it now of course but so often they ended by laughing with each other as they repeated the line together.
And he wanted to have a ‘public’ ceremony where they ‘exchanged rings’ – as Jac refused marriage, ref: our blog ‘Jim Perrin Plans His Next Move’ – because he was still thinking he could acquire some moral title to her property, even though he of knew of her absolute aversion either to legal marriage or public declaration.